all of the feels

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Oh my goodness, I haven't written a blog since September and I don't know what's happened. Actually, I do know what happened - THIRD YEAR OF UNIVERSITY HAPPENED. 

I feel like lots has probably gone on that I wanted to blog about, I have a really morbid post about death that I never posted (which is probably a good thing) - but when I'm ready I'm going to bore you with my thoughts on the subject. I kind of got fed up with this place being something that had to look nice and be a kind of business. I want this blog (if i continue from this) to be whatever I want it to be, which is why I spent approximately 1 minute on the photo for this post. 

I'm currently writing because I am freaking out so much, according to Josh I am grinding my teeth in my sleep because of stress (and that doesn't actually surprise me because every morning I wake up with complete dread and guilt because of the amount of work I have to create). Pity me? 

I'm probably just being a wimp, but I don't cope well with impending doom, especially when it's in the form of writing. I'm writing this blog post very quickly, and I enjoy it - but I have to write a formal dissertation with fancy words and no I's and it's due in by January. I love my topic, I feel passionate about it - I JUST HAVE NO TIME TO START IT. 

I'm not going to pretend like I haven't had time. I had time. I started the academic year off really badly with my nan passing away pretty unexpectedly - this didn't help and I feel like it took me ages to get into the swing of things. I grieved by shopping and spending money I shouldn't have actually spent because everything in TK Maxx is so pretty. I watched every series of The Walking Dead and as a result thought every slow human being was a zombie. I literally did anything that I could to avoid doing work. 

It's all my fault and now after not finishing my project on the suggested deadline I am trying to balance two competition briefs, freelance work and a dissertation and I feel like I'm going to explode. At least when you're in a job you can switch off to some extent when you come home from work, but this year feels so important and the importance of it is really holding me back. 

P.S - I ALSO HAVE NO MONEY AND IT'S CHRISTMAS SOON. CHRISTMAS IS STRESSFUL. 

I understand that this has been a poop blog post but I feel like I needed to get said stress off my chest. 

Here's a list of things that happened that I forgot to blog about: 
1. Dismaland (HOW COULD I FORGET?) 
2. That big 'ol thing called death
3. Greeting card designs

(Upon reflection I've basically done nothing for the past three months)